To Be Resilient, Don’t Be Too Virtuous

韧性最重要，美德刚刚好

原文链接
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/resilient-dont-too-virtuous-adam-grant

1981年出生的Adam Grant已经写过三本畅销书Give and Take，Originals，以及和Facebook首席运营官Sheryl Sandberg合著的Option B。这篇文章节选自他在犹他州立大学毕业典礼上的讲话.Adam在讲话中告诉了我们为什么很多人轰轰烈烈地开始，但是又轰轰烈烈失败的原因，相信能给天天用英语的同学带来启发。另外，Adam还有两个十分精彩的TED演讲，有兴趣的同学在笔记版的附录中找到。
Outline:

第一段：
It turns out that almost every commencement speech(毕业演讲) is about virtues（美德）. Living by a set of worthy principles. It’s easy to be virtuous（高尚的） when things are going well. It’s when you’re down（沮丧的） that your virtues get tested（考验）. Last week Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg and I published a book, Option B, about building resilience（韧性）. We all face（直面） challenges in life—whether it’s a failed exam or a failed marriage, the loss of a football game or the loss of a loved one. Resilience is what gets us through（帮某人熬过某事） these events. In the face of adversity（逆境）, how do we find the strength to stand by（支持） our virtues?
吃饱了谁都能嚷嚷减肥，而减肥的关键是饿的时候你会不会暴饮暴食。同样，顺境时谁都能大谈美德，但是美德之所以美就是因为患难见真情。要想在逆境中也守住自己的美德，那么我们就需要Resilience，韧性。
大乐乐曾经在公共微信号中写过一篇关于Option B这本书的文章，有兴趣的同学可以关注乐乐老师读原版，推送韧性两个字，延伸阅读，相信会更有助于本文的理解。

第二段：
In graduation speeches, three of the most popular virtues are generosity（慷慨）, authenticity（真实）, and grit（毅力）. If you want to live by these virtues you need resilience. You need resilience to stay generous on the days when you lose faith（失去信心） in humanity. You need resilience to stay true to yourself on the days when others lose faith in you. And you need resilience to persevere（坚持） on the days when you lose faith in yourself. But if you’re too obsessed with（痴迷于） any of these virtues, you might undermine（破坏） your own resilience. Virtues can be a little bit like vitamins. Vitamins are essential（关键的） for health. But what if you get more than your body needs? If you take too much Vitamin C, it won’t hurt you. If you overdose（过量服药） on Vitamin D, though, it can do serious harm: you could wind up with（以…收场） kidney problems.
金词们：
generosity [dʒenə'rɒsətɪ] n.慷慨
authenticity [ɔːθen'tɪsɪtɪ] n.真实
grit [grɪt] n.毅力
金句们：
You need resilience to stay generous on the days when you lose faith（失去信心） in humanity. You need resilience to stay true to yourself on the days when others lose faith in you. And you need resilience to persevere（坚持） on the days when you lose faith in yourself.
当你对人类失去信心时，你需要韧性让自己保持一颗慷慨之心。
当别人对你失去信心时，你需要韧性让自己直面真我。
当你甚至都对自己失去信心时，你需要韧性支撑自己走下去。

第三段：
A great philosopher named Aristotle thought virtues were like Vitamin D. Too little of a virtue is bad, but so is too much. He believed that every virtue lies between vices（缺点） of deficiency（不足） and excess（过量）. Too little humor is dry（无聊的）; too much is silly. Too little pride makes us meek（温顺的）; too much breeds（滋生）narcissism（自恋）. Too much self-restraint（自控） leaves（使某人保持某种状态） you doing homework while your friends are tailgating（开派对）. Too little self-restraint means you’ll really regret eating that fourth Scotsman Dog.
亚里士多德认为美德太多或者美德太少都不是件好事情。每一种美德都在不足和过量两个极端中摇摆。比如说：一点不幽默，那么就无聊；幽默太多，又傻乎乎的。没有自尊心让我们过于驯顺，太多自尊心又让我们过于自恋；自控力太强，那么同龄人开party的时候你基本都在写作业，因此错过了社交生活；但是自控力太弱，你又会在不该吃东西的时候大啖Scotsman Dog。
咦？苏格兰狗是啥吃的？哈哈，求知欲强的同学，你们就是给自己找罪受啊，来，点开下面的链接一探究竟吧。
苏格兰狗戳这里 ： https://eatthevalley.wordpress.com/2011/12/10/the-story-of-the-scotsman/
金词们：
breed [briːd] vt.引起
leave [liːv] vi.使处于某种状态
Too much self-restraint（自控） leaves（使某人保持某种状态） you doing homework while your friends are tailgating（开派对）.

第四段
If you’re not a fan of the ancient Greeks, the same point was made by another great philosopher named Goldilocks（金凤花姑娘）（参考金凤花姑娘和三只小熊的故事：由于金凤花姑娘喜欢不冷不热粥，不软不硬的椅子，总之是“刚刚好”的东西，所以后来美国人常用金凤花姑娘（Goldilocks）来形容“刚刚好”。） Like porridge（粥）, virtues can be too hot or too cold. More isn’t always better. Barry Schwartz（选择的困境一书作者） and I have argued that if you want happiness and success, you need to find the sweet spot（最佳点） between the extremes（极端） of too little and too much. You need to look for just right.

第五段：
Let’s start with the virtue of generosity. The single most common theme in commencement speeches is “help others”—it shows up in nearly two thirds of them. I’m a huge fan of generosity. I’ve spent my whole career studying it and I wrote an entire book about how it can drive（推动） not only our happiness but also our success. I found that in the long run, givers tend to outperform（胜过） takers. It’s true for engineers and salespeople and doctors. And even if giving doesn’t guarantee more success than taking, it’s a more meaningful way to live our lives.
Even if giving doesn’t guarantee more success than taking, it’s a more meaningful way to live our lives.
即使付出并不一定比索取更让你成功，但是绝对是更有意义的生活方式。
Even if 即使，引导让步状语从句。
金词们：
drive [draɪv] vt.推动
outperform [aʊtpə'fɔːm] vt.胜过

第六段：
But there’s such a thing as being too generous. It’s a recipe for burnout（导致精疲力尽）. Take teachers. Education is about helping students, so we love teachers who are selfless（无私的）. But in our research Reb Rebele and I found that the most selfless teachers ended up being the least engaged（投入的） in the classroom—and their students did the worst on standardized achievement tests. And you know what this means about the best teachers: they had about as much compassion（同情心） as Frank Underwood—if he were half-Demogorgon（魔王）.

第七段：
No, the effective teachers were the ones who cared deeply about their students but also did what we’re all supposed to do on airplanes. They secured their oxygen masks（氧气面罩） before assisting others. George Carlin（美国著名喜剧演员） laughed at that advice—“I *do *not need to be told that”—but it came in handy（迟早有用）. They felt less altruistic（无私的）, but they actually helped more. Their giving was energizing（鼓舞人心的） instead of exhausting（令人筋疲力尽的）. So help others, but don’t sacrifice（牺牲） yourself.

第八段：
A second beloved virtue is authenticity. “Be true to yourself” is a core（核心的） theme in more than half of commencement speeches. I wouldn’t encourage you to be false to yourself. Of course you should be genuine（真实的）.But if authenticity is the value you prize（珍视） most in life, there’s a danger that you’ll stunt（阻碍） your own development. To be authentic, you need to be crystal clear about your identity and values. You need to know exactly who you are. And that can tether（拴住） you to a fixed anchor（标准）, closing the door to growth.
金词们：
prize [praɪz] vt.珍视
stunt[stʌnt] vt.阻碍
tether ['teðə] vt.拴住
语法点：
And that can tether（拴住） you to a fixed anchor（标准）, closing the door to growth.
that指代的上面整个一句话，closing the door to growth是现在分词作结果状语。
可以翻译为：这会让你固守某个标准，以至于无法成长。

在第九、第十和第十一段，Adam和我们分享了他惨痛的授课经历，生动地描绘了什么叫不要太放飞自我。一次是在学校讲课，结果学生的评语惨不忍睹；一次是去给空军上校们上课，结果被指责没有经验。最后终于找到了合适自己的戏路，在讲台上立住了脚。现在Adam可是沃顿商学院的教授呢。

第九段：（略读）
When I was in grad school, a friend asked me to give a guest lecture for her class. I was terrified of public speaking, but I wanted to be helpful, so I agreed. I figured it would be a good learning opportunity, so after the class I handed out feedback forms asking how I could improve. It was brutal（惨不忍睹的）. One student wrote that I was so nervous I was causing the whole class to physically shake in their seats. My authentic self was not a fan of public speaking. But I started volunteering to give more guest lectures, knowing it was the only way to get better. I wasn’t being true to myself, I was being true to the self I wanted to become.
I wasn’t being true to myself, I was being true to the self I wanted to become.
不用对自己真实，对你想成为的那个自我真实就足够了。

第十段：（略读）
A few years later I was turned down for my first professor job because after watching me give a presentation, the hiring committee was convinced I wouldn’t be able to teach. I ended up getting hired by a different school, and in my first year I was asked to teach a four-hour class for colonels（上校） in the U.S. Air Force. I was 25, they were twice my age, they had dozens of medals on their uniforms and thousands of flight hours under their belts（在过去的经历中） and billion-dollar budgets under their command（控制）. Plus they all had cool nicknames, like Striker and Sand Dune.I knew I needed to establish credibility（信誉）, so I began by sharing my credentials（资历）. Their feedback forms were even less fun than the ones from the college students. One wrote “More quality information in audience than on podium（讲台）.” Another said “I gained very little from the session. I trust the instructor did gain useful insight（洞见）.”

第十一段：（略读）
I had already signed up to give one more class for their colleagues. I didn’t have time to change my content, let alone learn something new. All I could do was change my introduction. Total authenticity would’ve been to tell them that I had bombed（搞砸） the first session but I was going to be teaching them the same material. That would’ve made me look weak. Instead, I tried to find the sweet spot. I didn’t say a word about my expertise（专长）. I opened by saying, “I know what you’re thinking right now. What can I possibly learn from a professor who’s 12 years old?” The only sound I could hear was my racing heartbeat. Finally, a colonel—code name Hawk—piped up: “Come on, that’s way off base. I’m pretty sure you’re thirteen.” I taught the same material, but the feedback was much more enthusiastic（热情的）. One wrote: “Although junior in experience, he dealt with the studies in an interesting way.” And another: “I can’t believe Adam is only twelve! He did a great job.” So be true to yourself, but not so much that your true self never evolves（进化）.

第十二段：
A third popular virtue is grit. “Never give up” appears in more than four of every ten graduation speeches. Persistence（坚持） is one of the most important forces（力量） in success and happiness. There’s the author whose novel was rejected half a dozen times. The artist whose cartoons were turned down over and over. And the musicians who were told “guitar groups are on the way out” and they’d never make it in show business. If they had quit, Harry Potter, Disney, and the Beatles wouldn’t exist. But that’s only half the story. For every J.K. Rowling and Walt Disney and Lennon and McCartney, there are thousands of writers and entrepreneurs and musicians who fail not for lack of grit, but because of how narrowly they apply（应用） grit.
金词们：
apply [ə'plaɪ] vt.应用

第十三段：
I know from experience. As a kid I loved sports. I spent hours shooting baskets and when I didn’t make（加入） my sixth grade basketball team, I went to Chris Webber’s basketball camp. When the Orlando Magic drafted（征募） him, I spray-painted Shaq and Webber kick butt across our driveway. The Magic immediately traded Webber away but the kick butt stayed on my driveway. I worked my butt off practicing. But… I didn’t make the seventh grade team. I didn’t make the eighth grade team either. When I started high school I was under five feet tall（不到一米五，还打啥篮球啊）, and I finally gave up. I suddenly had a lot of free time and I decided to try my hand at diving. My coach told me I walked like Frankenstein（科学怪人） and his grandmother jumped higher than me. But diving was a nerd（书呆子） sport: it attracted people too short for basketball and too weak for football. I ended up qualifying for（取得资格） the junior Olympic nationals twice and competing at the NCAA（国家大学体育协会） level.

第十四段：
Never give up is bad advice. Sometimes quitting is a virtue. Grit doesn’t mean “keep doing the thing that’s failing.” It means “define your dreams broadly enough that you can find new ways to pursue them when your first and second plans fail.” I needed to give up on my dream of making the NBA but I didn’t need to give up on my dream of becoming a halfway decent athlete. And if you’ve ever watched Shark Tank（鲨鱼坦克（Shark Tank），又称创智赢家，是美国[ABC电视台的一系列发明真人秀节目，该节目是一个提供给发明创业者展示发明和获取主持嘉宾投资赞助的平台，该剧主要讲述一群怀揣梦想的青年带着他们的产品来到节目，通过说服5位强势的、腰缠万贯的富翁们给予他们启动资金，让梦想成真。） I bet you’ve seen a pitch from someone who has potential（潜力） as an entrepreneur but desperately needs to give up on the current startup. (Not that I have anything against a café where you can sip latte next to cats, a tongue brush that lets you lick your cat’s tongue, or a wine for cats.)
Never give up is bad advice. Sometimes quitting is a virtue. Grit doesn’t mean “keep doing the thing that’s failing.” It means “define your dreams broadly enough that you can find new ways to pursue them when your first and second plans fail.”
教唆别人永不放弃是不负责任的，有时，适当放弃才是美德。毅力并不意味着要在不断失败的路上一直走下去。毅力的真正含义是，条条大路通罗马，这条不行我走那条，但是，我是不会放弃罗马的。
明白了吗？还不明白？看图。
目标层级：

目标失败：

重新制定目标：

对于上述概念不是很明白的同学，可以参考大乐乐之前写过的公众号文章。
也可以在六月份，跟着大乐乐一起读第二本原版书Grit
第十五段：
Sometimes resilience comes from gritting（咬紧牙关） your teeth and packing your bags. Other times it comes from having the courage to admit（承认） your flaws（缺点）. When I decided to write my first book, my literary agent asked for a proposal. I got so excited about the ideas that I ended up writing the whole book. Over 102,000 words. I sent it over and my agent gently told me that they might interest fellow academics but that was about it.
第十六段：
“Never give up” might’ve meant going to another agent or trying my own hand with publishers. Resilience meant having the strength to take the feedback to heart and start over from scratch（从零开始）. Same goal (writing a book about generosity) but different strategy (writing something people might actually want to read). My agent told me to write like I teach. So I started over from scratch. I threw out over a hundred thousand words (there were a few hundred I just couldn’t let go). The book I wrote that time became Give and Take and it’s the reason I’m standing here on this stage.So don’t give up on your values, but be willing to give up on your plans.
走心金句：
So don’t give up on your values, but be willing to give up on your plans.
不忘初心，灵活应变，方得始终。

附录一：
大乐乐课程汇总，第一次来听课，或者错过了之前某节课程的同学可以参考：
Day 11: 米歇尔奥巴马的演讲
Day 42：卡夫卡谈爱情与耐心
Day 54: 爱因斯坦讲学习的秘密
Day65: 成功人士的两大秘密武器（I）
Day90:成功人士的两大秘密武器（II）
Day105: 毅力才是成功的关键
Day124:卖掉豪宅走天涯
Day132: 时尚传奇香奈儿
Day139:爱你在心口也开
Day148:从入门到放弃你到底做错了什么？
这些课程中的单词大乐乐正在进行进一步整理，会以公众微信号文章的形式陆续推送给大家，请关注乐乐老师读原版。
附录二：
Adam Grant 毕业典礼演讲链接：
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YJeLTHsbSug
Adam Grant的TED演讲链接：
The Surprising habits of original thinkers
https://www.ted.com/talks/adam_grant_the_surprising_habits_of_original_thinkers
Are you a giver or a taker?
https://www.ted.com/talks/adam_grant_are_you_a_giver_or_a_taker

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