Tiny Beautiful Things

http://therumpus.net/2011/02/dear-sugar-the-rumpus-advice-column-64/

[1] Dear Sugar,

[2] I read your column religiously. I’m 22. From what I can tell by your writing, you’re in your early 40s. My question is short and sweet: what would you tell your 20-something self if you could talk to her now?

  • religiously 虔诚的,十分认真的

[3] Love,
[4] Seeking Wisdom
 
[5] Dear Seeking Wisdom,

[6] Stop worrying about whether you’re fat. You’re not fat. Or rather, you’re sometimes a little bit fat, but who gives a shit? There is nothing more boring and fruitless than a woman lamenting the fact that her stomach is round. Feed yourself. Literally. The sort of people worthy of your love will love you more for this, sweet pea.

  • fruitless 不结果实的,无结果的,不成效的
  • lament 为…感到悲痛,抱怨
  • sweet pea 香豌豆,也可以用来叫别人,往往是小孩

[7] In the middle of the night in the middle of your twenties when your best woman friend crawls naked into your bed, straddles you, and says, You should run away from me before I *devour** you*, believe her.

  • crawl 爬,缓慢进出
  • naked 裸体的
  • straddle 跨坐
  • devour 吞食

[8] You are not a terrible person for wanting to break up with someone you love. You don’t need a reason to leave. Wanting to leave is enough. Leaving doesn’t mean you’re incapable of real love or that you’ll never love anyone else again. It doesn’t mean you’re morally bankrupt or psychologically demented or a nymphomaniac. It means you wish to change the terms of one particular relationship. That’s all. Be brave enough to break your own heart.

  • incapable 无能力的,不能胜任的
  • morally 道德上
  • bankrupt 破产的,完全缺乏的
  • demented 发狂的
  • nymphomaniac 情狂

[9] When that really sweet but fucked up gay couple invites you over to their cool apartment to do ecstasy with them, say no.

  • ecstasy 狂喜,摇头丸

[10] There are some things you can’t understand yet. Your life will be a great and continuous unfolding. It’s good you’ve worked hard to resolve childhood issues while in your twenties, but understand that what you resolve will need to be resolved again. And again. You will come to know things that can only be known with the wisdom of age and the grace of years. Most of those things will have to do with forgiveness.

  • unfolding 展开,呈现
  • resolve 解决
  • grace 优雅,天恩

[11] One evening you will be rolling around on the wooden floor of your apartment with a man who will tell you he doesn’t have a condom. You will smile in this spunky way that you think is hot and tell him to fuck you anyway. This will be a mistake for which you alone will pay.

  • condom 避孕套
  • hot 在这里指很帅、性感

[12] Don’t lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don’t have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write. Keep writing and quit your bitching. Your book has a birthday. You don’t know what it is yet.

  • true blue 忠贞不渝的,典型的
  • bitching 抱怨

[13] You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don’t waste your time on anything else.

  • absolute 绝对的

[14] Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.

  • acceptance 接受,忍受

[15] One hot afternoon during the era in which you’ve gotten yourself ridiculously tangled up with heroin you will be riding the bus and thinking what a worthless piece of crap you are when a little girl will get on the bus holding the strings of two purple balloons. She’ll offer you one of the balloons, but you won’t take it because you believe you no longer have a right to such tiny beautiful things. You’re wrong. You do.

  • tangle up 缠结在一起
  • heroin 海洛因

[16] Your assumptions about the lives of others are in direct relation to your naïve pomposity. Many people you believe to be rich are not rich. Many people you think have it easy worked hard for what they got. Many people who seem to be gliding right along have suffered and are suffering. Many people who appear to you to be old and stupidly saddled down with kids and cars and houses were once every bit as hip and pompous as you.

  • naïve 天真
  • pomposity 虚夸
  • glide 滑行
  • saddled down 背重负
  • hip 时髦的
  • pompous 自负的

[17] When you meet a man in the doorway of a Mexican restaurant who later kisses you while explaining that this kiss doesn’t “mean anything” because, much as he likes you, he is not interested in having a relationship with you or anyone right now, just laugh and kiss him back. Your daughter will have his sense of humor. Your son will have his eyes.

[18] The useless days will add up to something. The shitty waitressing jobs. The hours writing in your journal. The long meandering walks. The hours reading poetry and story collections and novels and dead people’s diaries and wondering about sex and God and whether you should shave under your arms or not. These things are your becoming.

  • waitressing 做餐厅服务员(女的)
  • meandering 蜿蜒的,不着边际的
  • becoming 有点类似自我实现的意思

[19] One Christmas at the very beginning of your twenties when your mother gives you a warm coat that she saved for months to buy, don’t look at her skeptically after she tells you she thought the coat was perfect for you. Don’t hold it up and say it’s longer than you like your coats to be and too puffy and possibly even too warm. Your mother will be dead by spring. That coat will be the last gift she gave you. You will regret the small thing you didn’t say for the rest of your life.

  • skeptically 怀疑的
  • puffy 浮肿的,加衬里的

[20] Say thank you.

[21] Yours,
[22] Sugar

词汇

  • religiously 虔诚的,十分认真的
  • fruitless 不结果实的,无结果的,不成效的
  • lament 为…感到悲痛,抱怨
  • sweet pea 香豌豆,也可以用来叫别人,往往是小孩
  • crawl 爬,缓慢进出
  • naked 裸体的
  • straddle 跨坐
  • devour 吞食
  • incapable 无能力的,不能胜任的
  • morally 道德上
  • bankrupt 破产的,完全缺乏的
  • demented 发狂的
  • nymphomaniac 情狂
  • ecstasy 狂喜,摇头丸
  • unfolding 展开,呈现
  • resolve 解决
  • grace 优雅,天恩
  • condom 避孕套
  • hot 在这里指很帅、性感
  • true blue 忠贞不渝的,典型的
  • bitching 抱怨
  • absolute 绝对的
  • acceptance 接受
  • tangle up 缠结在一起
  • heroin 海洛因
  • naïve 天真
  • pomposity 虚夸
  • glide 滑行
  • saddled down 背重负
  • hip 时髦的
  • pompous 自负的
  • waitressing 做餐厅服务员(女的)
  • meandering 蜿蜒的,不着边际的
  • becoming 有点类似自我实现的意思
  • skeptically 怀疑的
  • puffy 浮肿的,加衬里的

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John说:今天我们来读一个advice column。就是读者写信描述他们的问题,专栏作家给读者提建议。我小时候看报纸,最有名的两个advice columnists是Ann Landers和Dear Abby。

今天选的这个advice column叫Dear Sugar。Sugar其实是个笔名,当时写的时候读者都不知道真正的作者是谁,后来发现是作家Cheryl Strayed。

这次读者问她会想跟20几岁的自己说些什么。他的回答很诚恳,也很感人,但有点少儿不宜。

[1] Dear Sugar,

[2] I read your column religiously. I’m 22. From what I can tell by your writing, you’re in your early 40s. My question is short and sweet: what would you tell your 20-something self if you could talk to her now?

[3] Love,
[4] Seeking Wisdom

[5] Dear Seeking Wisdom,

[6] Stop worrying about whether you’re fat. You’re not fat. Or rather, you’re sometimes a little bit fat, but who gives a shit? There is nothing more boring and fruitless than a woman lamenting the fact that her stomach is round. Feed yourself. Literally. The sort of people worthy of your love will love you more for this, sweet pea.

[7] In the middle of the night in the middle of your twenties when your best woman friend crawls naked into your bed, straddles you, and says, You should run away from me before I devour you, believe her.

[8] You are not a terrible person for wanting to break up with someone you love. You don’t need a reason to leave. Wanting to leave is enough. Leaving doesn’t mean you’re incapable of real love or that you’ll never love anyone else again. It doesn’t mean you’re morally bankrupt or psychologically demented or a nymphomaniac. It means you wish to change the terms of one particular relationship. That’s all. Be brave enough to break your own heart.

[9] When that really sweet but fucked up gay couple invites you over to their cool apartment to do ecstasy with them, say no.

[10] There are some things you can’t understand yet. Your life will be a great and continuous unfolding. It’s good you’ve worked hard to resolve childhood issues while in your twenties, but understand that what you resolve will need to be resolved again. And again. You will come to know things that can only be known with the wisdom of age and the grace of years. Most of those things will have to do with forgiveness.

[11] One evening you will be rolling around on the wooden floor of your apartment with a man who will tell you he doesn’t have a condom. You will smile in this spunky way that you think is hot and tell him to fuck you anyway. This will be a mistake for which you alone will pay.

[12] Don’t lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don’t have a career. You have a life. Do the work. Keep the faith. Be true blue. You are a writer because you write. Keep writing and quit your bitching. Your book has a birthday. You don’t know what it is yet.

[13] You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don’t waste your time on anything else.

[14] Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you’ll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you’ll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.

[15] One hot afternoon during the era in which you’ve gotten yourself ridiculously tangled up with heroin you will be riding the bus and thinking what a worthless piece of crap you are when a little girl will get on the bus holding the strings of two purple balloons. She’ll offer you one of the balloons, but you won’t take it because you believe you no longer have a right to such tiny beautiful things. You’re wrong. You do.

[16] Your assumptions about the lives of others are in direct relation to your naïve pomposity. Many people you believe to be rich are not rich. Many people you think have it easy worked hard for what they got. Many people who seem to be gliding right along have suffered and are suffering. Many people who appear to you to be old and stupidly saddled down with kids and cars and houses were once every bit as hip and pompous as you.

[17] When you meet a man in the doorway of a Mexican restaurant who later kisses you while explaining that this kiss doesn’t “mean anything” because, much as he likes you, he is not interested in having a relationship with you or anyone right now, just laugh and kiss him back. Your daughter will have his sense of humor. Your son will have his eyes.

[18] The useless days will add up to something. The shitty waitressing jobs. The hours writing in your journal. The long meandering walks. The hours reading poetry and story collections and novels and dead people’s diaries and wondering about sex and God and whether you should shave under your arms or not. These things are your becoming.

[19] One Christmas at the very beginning of your twenties when your mother gives you a warm coat that she saved for months to buy, don’t look at her skeptically after she tells you she thought the coat was perfect for you. Don’t hold it up and say it’s longer than you like your coats to be and too puffy and possibly even too warm. Your mother will be dead by spring. That coat will be the last gift she gave you. You will regret the small thing you didn’t say for the rest of your life.

[20] Say thank you.

[21] Yours,
[22] Sugar

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