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来源:
简介：
本文讲的是生日这天许多人会感到失落，具体失落的原因以及如何化解这些失落。原因包括对自己或他人有太高的期望、压力大或者记忆中的美好跟现实成了反差等，而化解的手段包括让自己忙起来以转移注意力、自己奖励自己、学会感恩等等。
[导言]
Birthday blues is something that many face around their birthdays, especially if their age involves the number '0', like 30, 40, 50 ... so on and so forth.
[1] When your age and date of birth are the same, that day is extra special and is known as the Golden Birthday.
[2] E.g. If your birthday falls on 30th of September, then the day you turn 30 (age and date are the same in this case), will be your Golden birthday.
[3] Some celebrate their birthday with a bang along with family, friends, lavish food, alcohol, trips; in other words, they celebrate their birthdays as if each one was an event of a lifetime. Contrary to this sect of people, there are those who prefer to go through the day as if it were just another day in a long boring week. Both these groups of people are prone to feeling birthday blues.
- Lavish ['lævɪʃ] 大方的，浪费的
[4] Those facing this problem are a wedge in between heavily bogging and emotionally depleting feelings, while having to plaster a smile on their face and keeping up the façade that they are as happy as everyone is. Those who party, try to hide behind the party mood and excitement, while those lonely souls hide behind their work. Once these distractions are over and they are alone, the demons of birthday blues begin to show their ugly heads in the form of depression and guilt.
- Wedge [wedʒ] 楔子，楔形物
- Bog [bɒɡ] 卡住，陷入
- Facade [fə'sɑːd] 建筑物的正面，外表(犹指虚伪的)
Causes of Birthday Depression
Calendar and Social Norms
[5] Let's face it, we are all ruled by the calendar and social norms attached to it. From the moment you are born, you are prodded in and out of different stages of life as per our age. This lifestyle has been followed for generations as it might be considered logical and biologically appropriate. It is also because peers have crossed those thresholds at those particular ages.
Once you realize all that people have achieved what you haven't, everything boils down to that grand epiphany that you have failed someone, especially yourself. This directly burdens you with the feeling of your world collapsing around you and mainly on your age. This gives birth to birthday blues.
- Prod [prɒd] 刺，戳，激励
- Epiphany [ɪ'pɪfəni] 顿悟；(神灵）显现
Age
[6] Face it, age rules everything in our lives from the time of conception to the time we lay dying and everything in between. For example, from a driver's license at 16, to a drinking permit at 21, job and marriage in the mid-20s or early 30s, and children by or during mid-30s, etc. If you've achieved most of your life's goals as per the set age, it makes you the envy of all, otherwise you are nothing but ordinary, or something even worse.
Expectations
[7] Expectations are never-ending. You not only end up expecting more from yourself, but also from the people you are associated with. These expectations keep piling on to the preexisting pressure of having a perfect birthday.
Expectations 1:
[8] Expectations from life. For example, where you should have been by now on your certain age or birthday, things you should have accomplished, etc.
Expectations 2:
[9] Expectations from your birthday. For example, the bash has to be of a certain caliber, expectation of certain gift(s), expectations from family and friends, etc., or wanting that significant other to make you feel special at least for that one day.
- Bash [bæʃ] 狂欢
- Caliber ['kælɪbə] 才干
Stress
[10] Stress is an inevitable part of life that just cannot be ignored, be it related to your job, family, health, etc. A simple birthday that is just a day that you happened to be born on is burdened with the immense stress of being perfect.
Memories
[11] We often find ourselves living in the past in the form of memories. These memories play a crucial part to change the mood of anyone. Remembering a great birthday that you had as a child makes you feel happy and/or sad. But, something traumatic that you faced as a child on your birthday will unknowingly affect your mood. Broken or unfulfilled dreams too play a very important role.
Family and Friends
[12] Family and friends intentionally or unintentionally remind and fuel your preexisting anxiety. If you are married or in a relationship with or without children, you wish that they acknowledge all that you have done and show you what you mean to them.
Dealing with Birthday Blues
5 Minutes to Mourn
[13] Let's face it, life is not peachy, so just for once, just for a maximum time of 5 minutes, you can mourn. Mourn about your age, accomplishments, aches and pains, family, how life is unfair, etc. Cry it out if you need to and get it all out of your system. This will help you get a clearer perceptive and make you feel better. Once this is done, move on with the rest of your day.
- Mourn [mɔːn] 哀悼，忧伤
- Perceptive [pə'septɪv] 敏感的，有洞察力的
Lower Your Expectations
[13] This is probably the hardest part of getting rid of those blues. But lowering your expectations, especially when it comes to others, will relieve you and them of the stress and disappointment.
[14] Sylvia Plath once said, "If you expect nothing from anybody, you're never disappointed."
Be Grateful
[15] A birthday is not just a date that commemorates the end of an age and the beginning of something new. It is also a time to look around you and be grateful for all that you have in your life and celebrate your life.
[16] Make a list of all that you have; it will help you realize how blessed you are. Being grateful for that will help you overcome your birthday blues, reducing your stress, anxiety, and irritation.
Learn to Make Yourself Happy
[17] If you cannot or could not achieve certain expectations set by you, then how can you expect the same from someone else? Simply learn to make yourself happy, and if you want some flowers or something, buy them yourself. Don't wait for someone who may or may not buy it for you. Begin with small acts of self-interest.
[18] Do something small and silly that you like only for yourself. For example, eat a whole sundae by yourself, buy yourself that meal you've been eying for a while, go for a spa day, do something guilt-free that will truly make you and only you happy. Or better yet, enroll yourself in a class that will reap results far after this day has passed.
Keep Busy
[19] Keep yourself busy with absolutely anything productive that you like to do. Read a book, surf the Internet, read the newspaper, play with your pet or children, do some gardening, catch up with old friends, go to work, pursue a hobby, take a walk, swim, do some gardening or cooking, take your spouse out for a drive, learn something, write, etc. Just keep doing something, anything, as long as you are doing something and keeping yourself distracted.
Make a Yearly Bucket List
[20] Make a list of all the falsifiable things that would make you happy and prevent your birthday blues from repeating next year. Simply list everything you wish to achieve this year. Scratch off every item you accomplish as you complete it along the way. Learn to bake, cook, stitch, ride a bike, play a guitar or musical instrument, etc. As you accomplish all on your list, you will feel better along the way.
[21] It is futile mourning over failures and what has passed you by. Instead, celebrate it as it taught you the greatest lesson of your life. Learn to see the cup not half empty but half filled with air, with more space to be filled. Everyday is a new beginning, so eat another piece of cake, enjoy your birthday, tell everyone that you love and cherish them, and forget the rest. You'll have many more days if you let go of this one.
- Futile ['fjuːtaɪl] 无效的，无用的
来源:
简介：
本文讲的是生日这天许多人会感到失落，具体失落的原因以及如何化解这些失落。原因包括对自己或他人有太高的期望、压力大或者记忆中的美好跟现实成了反差等，而化解的手段包括让自己忙起来以转移注意力、自己奖励自己、学会感恩等等。
[导言]
Birthday blues is something that many face around their birthdays, especially if their age involves the number '0', like 30, 40, 50 ... so on and so forth.
[1] When your age and date of birth are the same, that day is extra special and is known as the Golden Birthday.
[2] E.g. If your birthday falls on 30th of September, then the day you turn 30 (age and date are the same in this case), will be your Golden birthday.
[3] Some celebrate their birthday with a bang along with family, friends, lavish food, alcohol, trips; in other words, they celebrate their birthdays as if each one was an event of a lifetime. Contrary to this sect of people, there are those who prefer to go through the day as if it were just another day in a long boring week. Both these groups of people are prone to feeling birthday blues.
[4] Those facing this problem are a wedge in between heavily bogging and emotionally depleting feelings, while having to plaster a smile on their face and keeping up the façade that they are as happy as everyone is. Those who party, try to hide behind the party mood and excitement, while those lonely souls hide behind their work. Once these distractions are over and they are alone, the demons of birthday blues begin to show their ugly heads in the form of depression and guilt.
Causes of Birthday Depression
Calendar and Social Norms
[5] Let's face it, we are all ruled by the calendar and social norms attached to it. From the moment you are born, you are prodded in and out of different stages of life as per our age. This lifestyle has been followed for generations as it might be considered logical and biologically appropriate. It is also because peers have crossed those thresholds at those particular ages.
Once you realize all that people have achieved what you haven't, everything boils down to that grand epiphany that you have failed someone, especially yourself. This directly burdens you with the feeling of your world collapsing around you and mainly on your age. This gives birth to birthday blues.
Age
[6] Face it, age rules everything in our lives from the time of conception to the time we lay dying and everything in between. For example, from a driver's license at 16, to a drinking permit at 21, job and marriage in the mid-20s or early 30s, and children by or during mid-30s, etc. If you've achieved most of your life's goals as per the set age, it makes you the envy of all, otherwise you are nothing but ordinary, or something even worse.
Expectations
[7] Expectations are never-ending. You not only end up expecting more from yourself, but also from the people you are associated with. These expectations keep piling on to the preexisting pressure of having a perfect birthday.
Expectations 1:
[8] Expectations from life. For example, where you should have been by now on your certain age or birthday, things you should have accomplished, etc.
Expectations 2:
[9] Expectations from your birthday. For example, the bash has to be of a certain caliber, expectation of certain gift(s), expectations from family and friends, etc., or wanting that significant other to make you feel special at least for that one day.
- Bash [bæʃ] 狂欢
- Caliber ['kælɪbə] 才干
Stress
[10] Stress is an inevitable part of life that just cannot be ignored, be it related to your job, family, health, etc. A simple birthday that is just a day that you happened to be born on is burdened with the immense stress of being perfect.
Memories
[11] We often find ourselves living in the past in the form of memories. These memories play a crucial part to change the mood of anyone. Remembering a great birthday that you had as a child makes you feel happy and/or sad. But, something traumatic that you faced as a child on your birthday will unknowingly affect your mood. Broken or unfulfilled dreams too play a very important role.
Family and Friends
[12] Family and friends intentionally or unintentionally remind and fuel your preexisting anxiety. If you are married or in a relationship with or without children, you wish that they acknowledge all that you have done and show you what you mean to them.
Dealing with Birthday Blues
5 Minutes to Mourn
[13] Let's face it, life is not peachy, so just for once, just for a maximum time of 5 minutes, you can mourn. Mourn about your age, accomplishments, aches and pains, family, how life is unfair, etc. Cry it out if you need to and get it all out of your system. This will help you get a clearer perceptive and make you feel better. Once this is done, move on with the rest of your day.
Lower Your Expectations
[13] This is probably the hardest part of getting rid of those blues. But lowering your expectations, especially when it comes to others, will relieve you and them of the stress and disappointment.
[14] Sylvia Plath once said, "If you expect nothing from anybody, you're never disappointed."
Be Grateful
[15] A birthday is not just a date that commemorates the end of an age and the beginning of something new. It is also a time to look around you and be grateful for all that you have in your life and celebrate your life.
[16] Make a list of all that you have; it will help you realize how blessed you are. Being grateful for that will help you overcome your birthday blues, reducing your stress, anxiety, and irritation.
Learn to Make Yourself Happy
[17] If you cannot or could not achieve certain expectations set by you, then how can you expect the same from someone else? Simply learn to make yourself happy, and if you want some flowers or something, buy them yourself. Don't wait for someone who may or may not buy it for you. Begin with small acts of self-interest.
[18] Do something small and silly that you like only for yourself. For example, eat a whole sundae by yourself, buy yourself that meal you've been eying for a while, go for a spa day, do something guilt-free that will truly make you and only you happy. Or better yet, enroll yourself in a class that will reap results far after this day has passed.
Keep Busy
[19] Keep yourself busy with absolutely anything productive that you like to do. Read a book, surf the Internet, read the newspaper, play with your pet or children, do some gardening, catch up with old friends, go to work, pursue a hobby, take a walk, swim, do some gardening or cooking, take your spouse out for a drive, learn something, write, etc. Just keep doing something, anything, as long as you are doing something and keeping yourself distracted.
Make a Yearly Bucket List
[20] Make a list of all the falsifiable things that would make you happy and prevent your birthday blues from repeating next year. Simply list everything you wish to achieve this year. Scratch off every item you accomplish as you complete it along the way. Learn to bake, cook, stitch, ride a bike, play a guitar or musical instrument, etc. As you accomplish all on your list, you will feel better along the way.
[21] It is futile mourning over failures and what has passed you by. Instead, celebrate it as it taught you the greatest lesson of your life. Learn to see the cup not half empty but half filled with air, with more space to be filled. Everyday is a new beginning, so eat another piece of cake, enjoy your birthday, tell everyone that you love and cherish them, and forget the rest. You'll have many more days if you let go of this one.